| DEW BONG! |
[27 Feb 2007|01:09pm] |
So today has been a fine day so far.
There were FCATs today, except for juniors and seniors. So, basically, we wouldn't be doing anything today. So I didn't go to school. A lot of people didn't go to school.
There will be a great video accompanying this very soonly. It starts out with Rob sitting in the back of Chris' van, with a few odds and ends in his hands...
"So, we're skipping school today, and I'm making a bomb."
So we drive to a deserted road and Rob starts explaining how the bomb is going to work:
"So, we fill this 2-liter up with all these alluminum balls, right?" he says as he rolls up more tin foil and drops them one by one into the bottle, filling it up about halfway.
"And then, we take this here toilet bowl cleaner, fill it, shake 'er up, and run like hell."
So here he is, the bright young lad that Rob has always been destined to be, pouring Drain-O (or, at least, a really cheap rip-off brand of it) into the 2-liter. He kicks it, and runs like hell. There I am, sitting with the video camera. And still sitting there. And there was nothing. For a loooong time.
"How's it look, Lauren?" Rob asks.
"It just kinda looks....like...its....sitting there...."
Grande pause...
"Wait....I hear something."
"GET IN THE VAN!"
.............BAM!
The bitch was smoking like crazy!
We had just commited arson, so we ran.
So, as our stories usually go, Rob got yelled at by his mom, he had to go home. (Fuckin' kids, I swear...)
Then I call Nick Mele. He and Luke are playing video games (go figure) at his house.
So we drive to Food Town, and find 24 12-packs of Mountain Dew with our names all over them. Lets do some math...
24 12-packs....twelve....times....twenty four....is.....288 CANS OF MOUNTAIN DEW! And with the hefty 75% off, it only came to $42. So we loaded up le van.
We pull up to Mele's house.
"Get in the van."
"HOLY SHIT! THATS THE MOST MOTHER FUCKING MOUNTAIN DEW I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!!lol!!!!111oneone"
Yes, it was true.
So what did we find in Chris' van, but, a beer bong! So we lol-ed at the prospect of doing Dew Bongs....and then we did it.
I think between the 4 of us, we cleared out 3 packs of Dew. Lets do some math.....
12 cans, in 3 cases, thats 36 cans of Dew, divided by four, is........9 cans EACH.
So we bong'ed then ALL. It was absoloute insanity. I did them all easily, but then, it hit me like a brick wall. DAAAAMN.
Somehow, I managed to get home. I did a little bit of research, and I found out that it takes 250mg of caffiene to overdose. Mountain Dew has 55mg of caffiene per can. I had 9 cans. More math...
55mg of cafffiene, times 9 cans....equals....495mg OF CAFEINE! That's almost twice the OD limit. We were all Dew-Bonged to hell.
The video is coming soon to a monitor near you. In the mean time, why don't you check out the latest ruckussing video? lolz
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| Consumer Review: Windows Vista |
[14 Feb 2007|10:07pm] |
So, it's been what, five years since Microsoft released Windows XP? Five years...what have you done in the past five years? Helmet Bob has done more than Microsoft has in the past five years. (This is funny if you know who Helmet Bob is.)
I purchased Widows Vista Premium on its release date, January 28th. I was excited...Microsoft did something! So, I decided my month-old laptop would be a great place to try out Vista. Of course, there was no way in hell I was going to read reviews, or talk to people with beta, or do any research whatsoever...I'm far too stubborn for that. The only way I was going to see if I liked Vista would be to try it out myself.
So, after taking 5 hours to install, I was ready to rock and roll. Problem was, I saw the irony in "Upgrade your system!" because it was in fact NOT truly upgraded - the performance was lower than before. So I upgraded my computer to be worse then it was before. Cool. I still didn't care! I spent $180 on this software, and I was going to use it, dammit! I mean, hey, Vista was pretty, anyways.
Despite the fact that Vista has been out for two weeks and they're already coming out with the SECOND service package for it, things were smooth sailing. Everybody loved Vista. So life continued on.
Then, one fearful night,, my month-old computer CRASHED. It crashed again, and again, and again. I spent hours trying to fix it, uninstalling and reinstalling drives, updating the hardware...nothing. It was none other than Vista! So I decide its time to do system restore. Since HP is way cool, they tell me, "You don't need system restore disks to restore your system! lolz" So I run the program, and the damn computer won't recpgnize me as the administrator of the computer. So I cannot run the program. Screwed.
So, here I am, on the phone with Marvin. He ships me $15 SRDs straight from Computer Help H.Q., India. They'll be here in 5 days. And Vista will be gone. FOREVER! Let's relive Windows Vista in the short time it has left.
www.WindowsVista.com boasts several highlights of the Windows Vista experience. Let me walk you through the horrors I experienced.
Easier
Easy is good. No arguing with that. But exactly how easy are we talking? Let's talk "Welcome Center". THAT'S what I want to see every time I start up my computer. WELCOME! Here's a bunch of shit you know how to do in a menu! OK, so there's things that are "user-friendly". User-friendly is good. But I mean, there IS a line to be crossed. I mean, this operating system is like, "Hey! 93 years old? Fresh out of the womb? Don't know how to use a computer? Here you go!" I mean, you'd think someone gutsy enough to use a computer has SOME background knowledge.
Before the horrific disgruntling visits of the Welcome Center comes the log-in screen. Its pretty basic. You know, you see your user name, type in your password...simple, right? Let's add the Ease of Access. PLEASE, somebody tell me WHAT THE HELL THIS IS! Microsoft describes it as: " The new Ease of Access Center in Windows Vista provides a centralized location where you can get quick access to adjust accessibility settings and manage assistive technology programs." I describe it as add-a-whole-bunch-of-shit-you-don't-need. Let's discuss: On the log-in screen, you have options of...
Feature: Narrator
Microsoft's Description: A text-to-speech program that reads aloud on-screen test and describes some events (such as error messages) that happen while you're using the computer.
Lauren's Description: Your computer says random shit in a startling Steven Hawkins-esque voice so all users with dementia, amnesia, or an impulsive need to hear narration at all times, as if your life was a continuous Michel Moore movie can still use a computer - with ease
Feature: Speech Recognition
Microsoft's Description: Enables you to interact with your computer using only your voice while maintaining, or even increasing, your productivity.
Lauren's Description: Be declared legally insane because you're talking to your computer, while becoming frustrated with the unconventional and inconvenient way of using your new system.
Feature: Magnifier
Microsoft's Description: Magnifies part of the screen, making it easier to see enlarged items on screen.
Lauren's Description: Take off your glasses, sit 7 or 8 feet away from your monitor, age a few decades and still read subtext!
Feature: On-Screen Keyboard
Microsoft's Description: A visual, on-screen keyboard with all the standard keys that you can use instead of a physical keyboard. On-Screen Keyboard also lets you type using an alternative input device.
Lauren's Description: Pollute your screen with an over-sized, pixelated keyboard so you can type your password by clicking on each individual letter, instead of using your fingers on your physical keyboard. Takes more time and effort!
Feature: Filter Keys
Microsoft's Description: Ignores keystrokes that occur in rapid succession and keystrokes that are held down for several seconds unintentionally.
Lauren's Description: Useful in case your keyboard often doubles as a seat cushion or coaster. Also handy if you have a compulsive disorder. Not a setting you want to use if you like to type with lots of exclamation points.
Feature: Mouse Keys
Microsoft's Description: Instead of using the mouse, you can use the arrow keys on the numeric keypad to move the pointer.
Lauren's Description: Use a different component of the computer for something it's not supposed to be used for, while deliberately ignoring the one that was specifically designed and works perfectly fine for what it is supposed to do. Spend up to 30 seconds circling a single link. Useful for then your mouse runs away.
What might have been so distressing was the fact that the operating system itself took up 2.49 gigs, and I find instructional videos such as "Using the Mouse" and "Parts of Your Computer" (Not things like motherboard and PCI slots...like monitor and keyboard...) So, you're telling me that this program that took up THIS much space on my already limited hard drive with INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEOS? I'm not even kidding!
If by easier, you mean computer crashing? Check.
Safer
I love how nobody feels "safe" on a computer anymore. First of all, operating systems do not make you "safer" by ANY means. None of them feel safe because none of them know HOW to use a computer! They click links and install random things and think to themselves, "Its OK, I have Norton running." WRONG! Norton (or any anti-virus program, at that, is a JOKE! Besides the fact that so few viruses are out, and spy ware seems to be the way to go, it prays on one source: YUPPIES! They buy useless shit online and put in their credit card information, and before you know it, their identity is stolen. People do NOT know HOW to use computers! Its always the stupid, naive, ignorant ones that get messed with. KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
More Entertaining
If by "more entertaining" you mean several episodes of blue-screen-of-death, hold music on calls to India, and system restarts for the hell of it, then this is right on.
Better Connected
So Microsoft ran out of some key points of the Vista system, and came up with these last two, I think. I haven't the slightest how an operating system could make you connect in a better way. Perhaps if it came with a RJ45 cable or a wireless router...no...
All in all...
DO NOT BUY VISTA. IT IS A PIECE OF SHIT.
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| Pigs on the wing |
[02 Feb 2007|08:54pm] |
So my grandfather - bless his heart - was coming to get me to tell me that dinner was ready.
"Lauren, its munchie time!"
I tried so hard not to laugh.
Are you telling me that my grandparents have the munchies???
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| LOLLICAUST |
[29 Jan 2007|09:48pm] |
Mkay so tonight started as any good night should. Shook was like "ZOMG NEW ENERGY DRINK, TASTE YOU MUST!" So he kidnapps me with the whole get-in-the-van approach. My mom was like "OMFG WERE ARE YOU GOING?" and we're like, o_O
So I explained to her the obvious choices of the night: shooting up heroin with the homeless or having sex behind a dumpster. So, the quest began.
Merritt Island is like 80 miles long and stuff, and I live north, Shook lives middle, and Russ lives like way the hell south. We ended up in Russ' drive way, and started unscrewing his Christmas lights, because it bothered us that they were still up. So we drive around, and basically waste gas.
Well, the plot comes together briefly as we stop at the 7-11 and buy a buncha Nos. Basically, the best energy drink ever. There's even a warning on it not to consume more than two cans in a 24-hour period. So even though its like 44 degrees out, we go to the park to chug those bitches down, and get a little crazy. (This was Chris' second one...LAWLS) At this point, were all flipping balls and were hella cold, so we decide to drive around north MI.
Our town is so shitty, I never thought we could get lost. But we did. And found hella spots to pull over and have sex.
Eventually, we decided to stop wasting gas. We pulled over in the neighborhood behind my house and just chilled.
And kids, being kids, decided it would be HILARIOUS if we rocked the van back and forth when a car drove by - which it was.
Stupid ideas make the best stories - a car turns around and shines its brights on us. We're like "STFU FUCK YOU NOOB" and eventually get out of the car, the three of us,to see what they wanted. It was my neighbor. She was pissed.
"I DON'T APPRECIATE YOU DOING THAT IN YOUR OWN NEIGHBORHOOD, AND NEITHER DOES MY 13-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER! BITCHBITCHBITCH, WHINEWHINEWHINE, QQ!!!!!1!!!!11ONE"
Despite the fact that we found fucking Hakkar driving an SUV, I was polite, apologized, even though I've never met her before and she yelled at me like I was her own kid, which I think wasn't appropriate of HER. (Plus, I think to a 13-year-old that would have been hysterical.)
So anyways, she gets all cocky like "I CALLED THE SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT ROFL LOL THEY HAVE YOUR LICENSE PLATE NUMBER" but Shook's family is like THIS with the sheriff's department...and seriously, what would they do? Because we were TOTALLY breaking laws and shit.
So we GTFO'd.
All I have to worry about is explaining it to my mom before that yuppie does. Because she'll totally blow it out of proportion.
Well I'm still on lollerskates from chugging that Nos. Not as bad as Chris though...poor kid. (Anyone who can burn 3 five-minute cooldowns in a two minute period has WAY too much caffeinated beverage in them.)
I GOT MY BURNING CRUSADE ZBOARD TODAY!!!!!!!!!!! ZOMG the macros are amazing! With the touch of one button, I can /lol all night long!!!1
/inspect
/duel
/yield
/pvp
/roll
/invite
/follow
/s /p /g /y /w /ra /raidinfo
/readycheck
/rw /thank
/cong
/dance
/greet
/laugh
/oom
/healme
/followme
/kiss
/chicken
/rude
/spit
BUY IT! ZBOARD DID NOT PAY ME TO SAY THIS!
But seriously, as someone pointed out today, I spend money on shit I don't need all thetime, but this...man, this thing is BITCHIN!
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| Through the fire and flames |
[28 Jan 2007|10:26pm] |
Well now that the war is over, it is time to return to the life that we call harmonious.
I fed the elderly for 8 hours today.
I went shopping.
My grandma broke her arm, and the pain-killers they gave her may just as well been marijuana. Absolutely NUTS.
ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG DRAGONFORCE IN.....SOON!
So now for lots of homework.
!
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| Senator, will you please adress the chair? |
[27 Jan 2007|10:17pm] |
So I don't know who is doing the schedules but they're retarded. I work overtime for like a three weeks straight and then have one week not scheduled at all, which means no pay.
I'm starting to hate work. Especially when I have to work almost 30 hours a week, not factoring in school.
So I won't get to sleep in at all this weekend.
OOH Dragonforce is coming! And MegaCon! YAY
I'm so tired.
AND the quote of the day goes to Lauren:
"$20 says I could pick a wedgie better than a 6-fingered chronic masturbater!" Ah, If only you understood its greatness, as it took place in the Senate, itself. "Dear Senator Burr...Love, Senator Baucus."
YOU'RE OUT OF LINE! I love politics.
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| Check out the real situation |
[26 Jan 2007|09:55pm] |
So, it was a good attempt, at least.
I guess the novelty of actually having a livejournal fades after the first 5 or 6 entries.
Speaking of novelties...The Burning Crusade has been out for two weeks now...I deleted the character I had been working on to remake it as a blood elf...I fucking hate blood elves. So, I opened a GM ticket that went a little something along the lines of...
"Hi, my alcoholic boyfriend deleted my character, can I have it back?"
Maybe it will work.
Model Student Senate was today! And tomorrow! Let's give it up for Senator Max Baucus, Democratic senator of Montana! Our party won our way on both of the bills brought to the floor today. We still have five more to debate tomorrow...good luck to us! (Except for that video game bill...I hope the Republicans get that one...)
Anyways, I'm sure you have heard of the box office hit that is the Golf video. It has circulated throughout approximately 98% of the school, and beyond. As soon as I'm not lazy and decide to compress the file, it will be coming to a theater near you!...youtube!
I'm also sure you have heard of the tragedy that is my hair.
Words need not be typed.
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| Legalize it |
[06 Jan 2007|12:14pm] |
So I'm pretty much sure Taryn just answered my prayers.
I was sleeping, and when I'm sleeping and I hear the phone ring, I never answer it. But I did, and I'm glad.
"Hi Lauren, this is Taryn. Can I work for you tonight?"
ITS LIKE SHE WAS READING MY MIND!!
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| Rocket in my pocket |
[06 Jan 2007|04:48am] |
Today (and by "today", I technically mean "yesterday", because ALL of my livejournal posts are done at ungodly hours of the morning) Michie came over and we set up WoW on her computer...which took FOREVER! Peer-to-peer downloading?? BLIZZARD FTL!!!! And so, another soul comes to the dark side.
So BC comes out in TEN DAYS!!! zomg PEW PEW PEW!!!!!!!!!! (That's Burning Crusade, not birth control! lol)
So I'm thinking, since some lame asshat rogue friend of mine decided he's too lazy and too poor to preorder the expansion and needs me to do it for him, and is coming up to visit me JUST so he can get his fucking copy won't be getting it! Or maybe I'll decide not to be a bitch.
Oh well. Still leveling. I'm glad all my characters and stuff got deleted. Yeah, all that stuff I worked on for over a year, it wasn't worth ANYTHING to me. I should have sharded all my gear while I still had the chance...blast! At least I sent most of my gold to someone who is more deserving. I guess I didn't like my main that much anyways...I miss my alts more than anything... loved Communist when she was a mage ;_; But, she's pretty fun as a priest, too. At least no-one can touch my fucking account this time. Bastard. Oh, the tragedy that is World of Warcraft!
Work tomorrow. Or rather, today. In about 11 hours. I'll probably sleep though all of them.
Bowling 'till midnight tomorrow! I don't know why I waste money throwing balls at shit. I know I could do it a hell of a lot cheaper, more fun, AND more destructive, all at once!...IF done the Lauren-way.
Well God damn, its 5am. I'm going to sleep before the sun comes up.
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| /dance |
[05 Jan 2007|11:48am] |
I went to the movies last night with Michelle, Taryn, James, Joe and Lauren...what are you talking about? Of COURSE I didn't see Black Christmas >_> Why in the world would I see THAT movie?? (It was funny because the serial killer in the movie kept saying "everyone should be home for Christmas" and all of us there work at Cedar Creek and all had to work Christmas...and got ripped off on our pay, too!)
After the movie that wasn't Black Christmas, we were all like "Zomg, what are we going to do now?" For it was only 10 o'clock...the night was still young. So we went to the beach. And then Ryan called and he was like "Zomg, what are you doing?" and I'm like "Zomg we're at the beach!" So he came with Russ, Tyler, Shook, Shayna...basically everyone we've ever shoved into my car for a spirited Chinese fire drill to loud Russian disco music at one in the morning.
So, here we are, like a billion kids, on the beach, at 10:30 at night. We chilled for a while, you know, had fun, I got sandy feet (I HATE sandy feet!) and had a good time. Then, out of nowhere comes a flashlight. It was a pig.
"How many cars you guys got parked out there?" I immediately became the ring leader. I told him there were three cars out there. "Didn't you guys see the 'no parking after 10pm' signs?" My inner smartass almost said "No, its too dark to see them after 10pm. You might wanna invest some tax dollars to illuminate them." Thank God I didn't, and just told him that we didn't see them. And for kicks, I added:
"I'm sorry officer, we just came here to bury my dog's ashes. We'll be out of here as soon as we pay our final respects."
The funny thing was, it worked. I think he felt some kind of compassion. Or at least saw that we weren't smoking, drinking, or shooting up heroin.
So we all said our final thoughts for I think what came to be named "Muffy" and we were on our way.
If you've ever went to go find out what goes in the Ron Jon's parking lot at 11 at night, you'd find me and my friends LARPing. Or, at least dicking around, talking about doing it and doing our best to imitate the Warcraft dances. So we passed like 80 or so more cops and decided it would be best inside a building, because they do not look kindly upon LARPers.
So, Ron Jon's it was! WHY this place is open 24 hours a day, I do not know. But going there at an ungodly hour is quite the experience. They play the weirdest music (and I mean, only stuff I would listen to if I was on acid) and its just creepy all together.
And for the sake of being anti-climactic, we all went home.
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| I know because of KRS-One |
[04 Jan 2007|02:08am] |
Worked a lot today. Long day. Played Warcraft a lot today. Good day. I won't bore you with the exciting stories of my Azerothian adventures, because they apparently fall into the same category as buttsex. (Not that buttsex isn't exciting or anything.) NAGA PLEASE!
I'm glad this is what I'm doing with my life.
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| Linguine, little weenie. |
[02 Jan 2007|03:33am] |
Decided I'd post a bulletin I posted earlier, for the sake of posting something. On a second read, it was actually funny. Not like anyones gonna read it here, which is funny, because I'm nearing 1300 MySpace friends...I'm counting my blessings.
******
Why, in God's name do I keep relieving bizzare friend requests from rap artists, black people and 28 year-old dudes? Seriously. I mean I love rap. And I love black people. And I do believe it is possible that there ARE 28 year-old guys out there that DON'T wanna have sex with me. But come on now, am I on some kind of list I don't know about or something? They're just people I'd never expect...let me just share with you some messages I've been getting recently: (These are ACTUAL, REAL-LIVE MySpace messages, in FULL, and their sender's ages.)
24 year-old: HEY UR CUTE R U SINGLE TOO
29 year-old: hello sexy
20 year-old: hey whats up i seen u were online single and sexy as hell how are you doing??
28 year-old: You are soo cute
29 year-old: you look so sexy
21 year-old: Cool Daddy wants u 2 be his friend
Don't know, but strange: what up $exy iam on vaction in orlando with m wipe. wanna holla hit me back
Anyone wanna tell me what's going on??
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| Go go go |
[01 Jan 2007|01:22am] |
So, work was ridiculous today. Understaffed. Ha - like that's supposed to be surprising.
Happy New Year, blah blah blah. It sucked, just as I thought it would. The most fun I had was probably the Naval warfare in my boat on my lake with fireworks. (The battle scars are pretty cool.) I mean, what else are you gonna do? (Not that playing with fire was the best idea ever, considering I was wearing half a can of AquaNet, as usual...probably more than is used for all the members of A Flock of Seagulls.) But I guess my house wasn't that much fun. Kind of a shitty feeling to start a year on...but also, a pretty shitty year gone by. I'm really....shitty =(
Hopefully things will start looking up.
School starts in 8 days.
Never mind...
Well at least I don't have to work tomorrow. (Which is ridiculous because I wouldn't mind working tomorrow because I didn't drink anything and I didn't smoke, so I'd be fine to do stuff in the morning...whatever.) I'll end up hanging out with Peter or playing D&D with James. Or both. Or sleep until 1pm and walk around naked all day. Ahh, the good life...
So, gone is the year the fucked my life up, and here's to a new one that will probably take a shit on it, too. Language, oy vey...
I have a headache and I'm tired and sad. Its time that I lay down and possibly fall asleep once I know that all my mom's yuppie friends are off our property and every 14 year old has vacated the premises.
End transmission.
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| So we might as well take our time... |
[31 Dec 2006|12:19am] |
Well my day was kind of good for a day off. Although what I don't understand is why my boss decided that I need to work Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve AND New Year's Day. Anyone think this sounds kind of ridiculous? You're right. And what I love is that my boss' kids got off all those days. And they all know I'm having family problems out the a-hole and need to be there for them...NOPE! No consideration whatsoever. And there is a good chance that they could read this. But oh well, its the truth. There's a point when no job is worth that much family sacrifice.
So speaking of family, I helped my mom get ready for the New Year's party...It was always a big affair. But, it was her and my dad's thing. You know, they would always go all-out for New Year's. So, I was pretty much obligated to be there for her. Not like it was an inconvenient obligation, but its what I gotta do, you know? So the bonfire we have set up is RIDICULOUS! Its absolutely enormous. Like you have no idea. So everyone's invited, we're going to have lots of food, you know how it goes. PLEASE BRING A DESIGNATED DRIVER so you won't have to go through what I am going through.
So even on my day off, I was there, at work to pick up my schedule. Good thing I did, because I had the last three days off...and the schedule ended. So, I conveniently work on the day I had no notice about. Glad I was kept up-to-date with my duties.
Not like I'm complaining about my job or anything. Its a job, you know?
So like I was saying, I was at work and stuff, to pick up James. And went to Wal-Mart. And played D&D. And fought a giant praying mantis. I love you and all James, but I question your skills as a dungeon master. But thank you for piercing my lip again. Its going to hurt in the morning. A lot.
 
I'm glad I redid it, Because I fucking like it. And I don't care if anyone else does or not. That's the last time I change something because somebody who isn't even worth two shits doesn't like it. Seriously, fuck them.
Well my day went slightly differently than planned, but you know, that's how it goes.
I saw The Pursuit of Happyness. Good movie. It bugs me that its spelled wrong. Oh well, I can deal with it.
I rode around in a handicap van. Cold AC. Fun Time. GUMMY TEETH!
Look what I made! Its a....uh, never mind. Use your imagination. Perhaps, I could have been less productive. I'll save that for another day.
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| I'm dangerous. |
[29 Dec 2006|11:15pm] |
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Its only after long periods of studying strange things (like the how nipples work) that you realize that you are a true genius.
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| Happy Feast of Winter Veil! |
[25 Dec 2006|09:26pm] |
I guess this is kind of a Christmas present to myself, degrading down to online journal entries. My last one was probably somewhere around the tender age of 13. (Meaning I should have better judgment not to make one of these now, but oh well, here I go.)
So I'm sure everyone is writing about their Christmas whatnots and whathaveyous. But my Christmas was pretty lame. It's the first big holiday without my dad, which was really depressing. I mean, what's a holiday if the whole family (or what's left of it) just mopes around crying all day? I mean, I'm sure that's not what he would want us to do. I'm lucky I worked, in a way. I mean, working on Christmas sounds pretty shitty, but it was better than staying home. Plus, I got time and a half, and money never hurts. (Even though my Christmas bonus was kind of weak...)
So, Happy Feast of Winter Veil! I've decided I should only celebrate pagan and/or made up holidays. Maybe some druidic holidays...I can't really celebrate Christian holidays...You know, I was sitting in the mass they had for my dad on Christmas eve, and needless to say, I'm pretty pissed off at God for taking a huge shit on my life. So I was listening, and the church is more like a bizzare cult. We're worsipping all this stuff we don't have proof of, listening to some old child molester go crazy on the pulpit, screaming about everyone who isn't Catholic is the devil and is going to hell, and I just think to myself, this is NOT what I need. So, I hereby abstain from all orthodox religions, while fully reaping the benefits of their holidays.
So I locked myself in my room with my Dungeons and Dragons Player's Handbook and contemplated the rest of my life. And there it was.
Well did anyone go see Black Christmas? I sure didn't. Isn't that just Kwanzaa?
Signing off for now, boys and girls. I have a headache, probably due to the lack of oxygen and the boys screaming as loud as they can over Ventrilo. Poon me with your Warlord Penis? Yes.
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